THE LEGEND BEGINS
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The Discovery
Nobody knows how it happened. One moment, a great white minding his business. The next? Ankle-deep in angel hair. Some say it was fate. Others blame the Italians. Either way, there's no going back.
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The Problem
Turns out sharks and carbs? Dangerous combo. This apex predator now spends more time at Olive Garden than hunting seals. Marine biologists are concerned. The shark doesn't care.
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The Plan
If you're gonna be a shark addicted to pasta, might as well go all in. The moon has no Italian restaurants yet. Time to fix that. This is not financial advice. This is pasta advice.